Masterful Mindsets – Worry Lies: Part 3
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~ Victor Hugo
Over the last couple weeks our world has become more and more full of worry and fear. So I feel like although I did not intend to create this series to coincide with the COVID-19 Pandemic, it is extremely timely. If you’ve missed any of the series thus far, feel free to click on each lie below to catch up on the series.
As a refresher, the three common lies worry tells us that I’ve been examining in this series are:
- The worst is going to happen.
- You can’t handle it.
- This will last forever.
Moving forward, today, I am continuing our series on the three big lies that worry tells us, where those lies often come from and most importantly, how to overcome them so you can have courage to step boldly into your future.
Just like the previous lies, the last lie, “This will last forever.” is rarely true either. However, our worry, fear and pain can make it seem as such. But think about a time in your past when you had a hardship or struggle. A time when things weren’t going so well. You may have had that same thought running through your head as you were in the middle of the struggle. I can think of several along my own journey. However… most likely, they did pass and you did heal and even if the situation didn’t change, you probably still grew from the experience and ended up okay.
The underlying fear of this lie often stems from the fear that you will lose something. (Time, love, money, freedom, happiness, etc.) When we think something might last forever, we often associate it with having to give up something or some part of us, forever. It can be overwhelming and scary. But most situations or struggles do not last forever. Don’t get me wrong, it might not be because the situation changes, it’s because we get through it.
Let’s go ahead and take the Corona Virus as an example. Much of the world is being urged and even required to isolate themselves right now. Where I live, schools are closed, restaurants are closed, businesses are closed. Store shelves are empty. People are home and many are feeling the potential economic pinch. It can seem like a bleak and dire situation. And perhaps even more worrisome, is the feeling that the after effects of the pandemic will last forever. There is no doubt that the economy will take a hit. Some folks are at risk of losing more than just their freedom to go out. Some are at risk of losing their livelihood. And because of the uncertainty, regarding what our future holds, it can feel like this will last forever. But the truth is, there is hope. And while you may lose some time on the job, you may gain some truly quality time with your family. You may have to think out of the box when it comes to how to get your work done, how to get your groceries and of course, how to get toilet paper. But just like other struggles in the past, this too shall pass. The hardship will most likely not last forever.
So now, let me give you a tool to help you sort through the worry of lie #3. First of all, think about what it is you fear losing the most. If whatever it is you are worrying about were to last forever, what would be your greatest loss or fear? Now at this point, you may recognize some of the other fears coming up again. Maybe the outcome you fear, that the worst is going to happen and the belief that the process of working through it is something you can’t handle, goes up 10x here with the overlaying fear that you will be at a loss because this will last forever. When you get yourself down to that last thought, what do you fear losing the most if all that were to happen? When you know that, you are on to something because that is likely the root of this worry and fear.
Once you’ve identified that fear, it’s time to find the truth. As I’ve stated above, most struggles do not last forever. The most common truth here is that they won’t. But that’s not to say that they can’t. So in all fairness, I do want to make clear that if indeed whatever it is that you are worried about does last forever and you lose something that is important to you, the choice is still yours as to whether you let your future identity or your hope for the future, get lost along with them. It is possible that a situation could last forever, but you have the power to choose whether you will let your worry, fear and negativity last forever too or if you are going to choose hope, faith and joy anyway. You have the power to choose to move forward from any situation.
How do you do this? Here’s a tool to get you started – It’s called RWID. It stands for Relative Weight of Importance and Duration. You must decide what is important and you must also decide if the amount of time you are spending focused on the worry is equivalent to the level of importance. See sometimes the only thing keeping something lasting forever is us. We can choose to move our focus forward. If you are focusing on something “forever” that’s on you. Decide what is really important to you and put your focus there. What you’ll find is it’s in the solution not the problem. Let’s take this pandemic for example again. I know that staying home is an inconvenience for many people. And you could choose to focus on how long it’s taking, what a pain it is, how you are ever going to get caught up with work, given all the time wasted, etc. or you could choose to spend your time thinking about how you can enjoy this time off with your family, building those relationships up, reading that book you’ve been wanting to read but never have time for, learning something online that you’ve been wanting to learn or what you’ll do when it is over… because it will be. Putting your energy and thoughts into what’s really important to you will no doubt help you release that lie that worry tells you because my friend, this too shall pass.
Give it a try… be conscious of what you are allowing yourself to focus on. Is it important? Is it worth the time you are spending on it? Think about this… if you are worried about losing what’s important, the time lost worrying about it better be worth it. Otherwise, stop spending time on it! Move your thoughts into what’s important. And move yourself into hope for the future!
Next week, we’ll wrap up this series on the lies that worry tells us by diving deep into the truth. So be sure you check back for that and as always, join me for more on this subject during my Wednesday Wisdom, Facebook Live at 2:30pm Mountain (1:30pm PT, 3:30pm CT, 4:30pm ET) on my Facebook Biz Page: @CoachMichelleWeimer.
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